If one partner is HIV negative and the other HIV positive, we strongly encourage you to always use condoms, particularly for anal sex and vaginal sex. If both partners are HIV positive it's also not a good idea because they can give each other STD's (that can send viral load through the roof) or different HIV strains (that could be resistant to treatment). But what if both guys are HIV negative? Sex without condoms is an option many long-term queer couples are choosing. The practice even has a name: Negotiated Safety. It's an important option for gay men to have. But it's definitely not for everyone. There are risks. It shouldn't be taken lightly.
Talk about this decision and what it means for your relationship. Why do each of you want to do this? What do you need from your partner to feel secure about eliminating condoms?
Both of you get tested for HIV together. Make a date of it. If you both test negative, keep using condoms with each other and with any sex outside the relationship. Keep up a dialogue about how you're going to make this decision a success.
After three months get tested again. If both results are still negative, you're good to go on to the final step.
Come to a clear understanding about sex inside and outside your relationship. Some agreements might include:
We offer our sincere thanks and due credit to Gay City from which most of this text for this page was borrowed.